Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Bathroom Grafitti

"Here I sit, broken hearted..."
You know the rest. Nothing highbrow about it. Basic, whimsical bathroom graffiti. And don't think that it's limited to the johns in bars, restaurants and convenience stores, although that's where the best stuff is.
The Hairy Carrot can attest to seeing some fine work in the stalls of an on-campus library at a major university. Of course, the gist had something to do with the school's archrivals.
There are major themes that are found in the stalls. In no particular order, they are as folllows:

The invitation for sex - "For good head, call Brad at 555-5555" or "Be here at 5pm for a b.j." Does anyone really call the number or return to the stall at the appointed time? (For informational purposes, we've found a lot of offers for oral sex from "males", even though we were not in gay establishments. The Carrot seems to feel that Brad didn't actually make the offer, but instead, one of his alleged friends did.)

The poetry - "Here I sit in stinky vapor, because someone stole the paper". Are we to empathize with the writer's plight? Can we not feel his pain? Did someone steal the paper or just fail to replace the paper with a new roll?

The humor - "How do you get a nun pregnant? You fuck her!" or more seminal pieces like "Famous Jisms - Jism Carter, Jism Hendrix, Jism Cracked Corn and I Don't Care, etc". Sometimes the humor will be conveighed through poetry, but bathroom poetry is not always humorous.

The preferred tool of grafitti is a black felt tip marker(a ballpoint pen is strictly for amateurs). This leads us to the next questions: Where does the marker come from? Does someone carry a marker into a nightclub or bar with the intention of writing on the walls of the bathroom? Do they scrawl on the wall as they piss? Do they smuggle the marker in their asses like a drug mule? Too many questions, not enough answers.
Let the Hairy Carrot know how you feel and share your best readings/writings with us.

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