Thursday, May 25, 2006

Jose Can You, Si?

Enough is enough already. I'm tired of hearing about immigrants, illegals, guest workers, amnesty, Vicente Fox and, most of all, deporting 11 million people. Talk about beating a dead burro! What do you say we reopen Ellis Island and move all of these "peoples" through there like cattle and document the hell out of them. It was good enough back in the day.
Since I'm getting my two pesos in, I need to get something else off of my manly chest. This whole debate started several weeks ago when a bunch of disenfranchised Mexicans in L.A. decided to get organized and take to the streets. What a set of cajones these dudes have! Can you imagine going to another country (illegally, mind you) and starting a protest march over the way you are treated there? What kind of toro-shit is that?
Having our immigration policy dictated to us by a bunch of non-citizens can be pretty humiliating, but the Hairy Carrot has an answer for this.
First, we get our guys our of Iraq. The new Prime Minister says he won't need us in a few months, so let's take his word for it.
Second, we take those troops and invade Mexico. Spring breakers have been doing it for years anyway and, I promise, there won't be an insurgency there.
Next, we make it our 50th state. "But, H.C., we already have 50 states," you're saying. I am aware of that, but who says we can't demote Alaska back to "territory" status. That way we don't have to a) redesign our flag and b) listen to that whore Senator Stevens who keeps milking my tax dollars for his home state. Besides, we're already getting screwed by the Mexicans that are here because they're sending all that dinero back home. That money could be taxed through our coffers for a change and pay for the Hairy Carrot Museum and Home for Promiscuous Girls. Now there's a plan for everybody!

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