Friday, June 16, 2006

Amazing News Items Are Usually Related

This has been a big week for news. Darryl Hannah, mostly famous for "Splash", was physically removed from a tree in California. She was protesting because a landowner wanted his property back from the neighbors, who have taken it upon themselves to grow a vegetable garden on it. Damn capitalism!! Anyway, the news channels got downright giddy showing Darryl Hannah getting pulled out of a tree, and of course, she came off looking like crazy bitch.
Unfortunately for J.J. Redick, she was supposed to be his designated driver. J.J. gets a few drinks in him and where is his ride? Up a fucking tree!! Sweet. Next time, call a cab, J.J.
Which brings me to the crime wave of current/former Duke athletes. Fact is, you have to be really smart to get into Duke, but I guess common sense isn't a factor on the SAT's. Next time you want to hire strippers for a party, upgrade to some classy white chicks that don't already have kids. It's amazing what an extra $50 will do sometimes. Strippers with stretchmarks aren't my cup of tea. Unlike government contracts, a stripper shouldn't be hired because she's the lowest bidder.

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