Monday, June 26, 2006

My, What An Offensive Shirt You Have, Grandma!

A store in Warren, OH, decided to stop selling t-shirts due to protests from locals. A whopping crowd of 30 bitched and moaned until Rose Beauty and J-Fashions removed the shirts, which had pictures of the Pillsbury "Dope" Boy (who wasn't "baked").
Gail Salter, a self-described "concerned parent" said the shirts encouraged kids to use drugs. After the rally, she went directly to the local hospital to have a gigantic bug removed from her rectum. Physicians also found what they described as "a big stick, nearly a 2 x 4", which they also tried, unsuccessfully, to remove. "We just couldn't get it. What a tightass!!" said Dr. Howie Feltersnatch.
Pillsbury had no comment on the incident, but one executive said off the record that the company thought the combination of the Dough Boy and marijuana was a natural "tie-in" for their products. "Let's face it, stoners love cake mixes. Some even put them in the oven."
As a sidenote, "Honky" shirts are available at www.hairycarrot.com.

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