Friday, June 09, 2006

Rush Limbaugh's Evil Plan

Did you know that every President since Nixon has won the "south". In other words, if you don't make it below the Mason-Dixon line, you won't make it to Washington, DC. Clinton won the south, because he was from the south and knew the sensibilities of southerners. Gore lost the south, even though he was from Tennessee, but lived there a total of two weeks during his lifetime. John Kerry lost by virtue of the fact that he was from Massachusetts and southerners don't give a crap about New Englanders for the most part. Democrats, for the most part, just don't seem to see this pattern, thus making them rubes for 2008.
Rush Limbaugh, the spokesguy for the Republican party, has figured this all out and has come up with a devious plan to make sure he keeps his buddies in power, as well as keeping from paying his "rich guy" taxes. His is the kind of plan that seems to play on the wishes of stupid people, and the liberal left fits the bill to a tee.
The scheme is nothing more than this: Play up fears of a Hillary Clinton candidacy. "Ooh, we don't won't her to get the nomination, because she could win and we'll be in soooo much trouble with another President Clinton." Boy, that would be scary.
Did you know that a lot of liberals stupidly listen to Limbaugh's show? It's true. They think they're listening in on the enemy's inside information, and old Rush, not being stupid as much as annoying, has decided to play them like a cheap piano. It's called misinformation, you freaking retards - learn about it!!
So, the left hears Rush's "fears" of Hillary and figure they're onto something. Only thing is they are so out of touch with reality (nominating Kerry), they think the gal can win the south. Herein lies the problem.
You see, the Hairy Carrot was born and raised in the south and I like to think I have my stinky finger on the pulse of the place. Truth be known, most southerners wouldn't hit a bull in the ass with Hillary Clinton. That's the bottom line. They liked Bill, but his wife is another story altogether. The political speak for it is "polarizing", as in "she polarizes voters." In english, people just don't like her. She pissed too many people off during her husband's term for various reasons. Those reasons include universal health care and causing us to go through an impeachment because she wouldn't service Little Bill, if you know what I mean. A few hummers on her part and we probably wouldn't have even heard of Monica, much less an HBO special.
Don't believe me, go to a hair salon on a Friday, when the ladies are getting all gussied up for the weekend, and ask. (Trust me on this. If you want to find out how people feel about something, go to a salon/barber on Fridays and get the better results than any marketing company could ever get you.)
Even Bill Maher, the whiniest bitch on the left has conceded that Hillary doesn't have a chance. But those crazy Dems will probably get it in their craw that she does and nominate her anyway. Rush and the rest of his Neo-con brethren will laugh all the way to the White House, unless they nominate Condeleeza Rice. Don't even make me go there!!

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