Friday, July 14, 2006

Crack For Crack

Felix Cocco, 80, of Pittsburgh, pleaded guilty to drug charges, which included selling crack out of his house. Mr. Cocco's lawyer said he also traded crack to prostitutes in exchange for sex. His two goals were to a) pay his bills and b) stay sexually active.
Damn, those just happen to be the goals of everyone else in this country! I mean, shit dude, who doesn't want to keep the car from being repoed and get a little at the same time? And the fact that old Felix managed to combine the two means he deserves a pat on the back. I can't imagine how much money the government could save if this were all legal. There may actually be something in the Social Security funds when I retire and get horny.
And let's not forget the contributions of everyone's friend, the crack whore. Sure, she may be diseased, but does Felix give a crap if he gets herpes or HIV? Doubtful. Hell, the old guy is more concerned about a broken hip or his dentures. Cathy Crackwhore was just being a giving, loving person, tending to the needs of a elderly, horny widower. We should all rally around crack whores who are friends of the downtrodden and desperate, like Felix.
To Congress, I think I speak for all when I say, legalize prostitution and help our seniors. One day, you could be in the same situation as Felix.

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