Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Horrifying Beating Of A Dead Horse

Did you know that the guy who claims to have been in the room when Jon Benet Ramsey died is in custody?
Apparently, this just isn't good enough for the media. John Mark Karr actually held a press conference to admit his involvement. This isn't good enough for the press though. They seem to feel that we need to know more.
So far, we've heard that he is a pedophile. But the boys at CNN, Fox, MSNBC, et al think we need even more information. These assholes have told us everything about Karr, including shit no one cares about. For instance, he writes poetry to dead little girls, he married a little girl and the kicker, he was obsessed with little girls. You made your fucking point, Anderson Cooper. He's a creepy fucker, probably the king of all creepy fuckers. But until someone gets a DNA sample, we can move on to other things, like Iraqis blowing up shit and Iranians wanting to nuke us. Anything but Jon Benet or John Mark Karr. Please. I'd even listen to the stock report. Hey, Rita Cosby, look over there - it's a hurricane you can talk about in that raspy, but not sexy, voice of yours. I'm so tired of hearing about this shit, I kind of wish he'd strangle and rape (in that order) your sorry investigative asses.
Remember the summer of 2001, when you all discussed Chandra Levy to no fucking end? The sad part is that the only thing that ended that misery was the attacks of 9/11. Seriously, it took a bunch of hijacked planes to end what you called news and I called "bullshit speculation".
So I'm pleading, begging. Move on. Find something that actually affects my life. Find another pedophile. That dude on Dateline can catch all kinds of perverts for you.
Speaking of perverts and pedophiles, a girl who was abducted in Austria 8 years ago recently escaped her captor. This dickhead had the girl locked in a basement with a sink, toilet and books. Once Mr. Trenchcoat realized his life of little girl molestation was going to be exposed, he threw himself under a train. That would've been a cool thing to see on YouTube.

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