Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Katie Couric Is Just Sooo Cute!

Tonight was the big debut of the "CBS Evening News, Starring Katie Couric." Okay, I don't know if "starring" is in the actual title, but it really doesn't matter. I watched, just to see if it was really news or if she was going to make it really gay, like "The View".
Did you know Couric made television history by being the first (and hottest) widow to be a network news anchor? Who knew she had it in her?
She led off with a story about the Taliban. It was interesting, but honestly, the only reason I'm watching the CBS Evening News is because of war fatigue. How ironic!
Personally, I think she should've added some subliminal porn footage in between stories on Iraq, the economy and editorials. That's right, I said "editorials"!! Just as the public outcry for Evander Holyfield comebacks filled the air in the 1990's (according to Holyfield, himself), so are the people begging for editorials. And Katie is so desperate, she's even asked Rush Limbaugh to do one.
According to the Rush-man, she met his conditions to appear on the show. One of them was a $500 gift certificate to Ryan's Steakhouse, so fatass could put a dent in the mega-bar. The other condition was that there would be no debating, refuting or equal time for opposing opinions. Sounds like his boring-ass radio show to me, but now you have to physically turn away from that mug of his. Thankfully, this will be a one-time gig.
My personal advice for Katie is this: When you're sitting there, reading the news, unbutton your blouse every 10 minutes or so, making comments like, "it sure is getting warm in here with all this hot news". You keep a lot of loyal viewers that way. Between that and the subliminal porn, you'll do great.


Monty said...

I totally agree that Katie should have done something about that outfit, and at least gone for some cleavage -- I hear that if you don't use them, you lose them. And rotting breasts would NOT go with Couric's look.

sonia said...

If you want to see a hot, bare-breasted news anchor, you'll have to move to France...

She makes Katie look like a granma...