10. Chicks don't give me lovin' the way I like.
9. Vitamin C sucks without vodka.
8. They wouldn't have called it "happy hour" unless it really made you happy.
7. Eases me into those brief moments of false hope.
6. I'm still bitter about the Iranian hostage crisis.
5. I'm still bitter about the Beatles breakup.
4. I look better in the mirror.
3. It's legal (for now).
2. Bush quit and look how he turned out.
1. All the cool kids are doing it!