Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Real Change Of Leadership

Now that the mid-term elections are behind us (mercifully), the 2008 Presidential race has started to take shape. Sen. John McCain, a POW in Vietnam, and Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of New York when the 9/11 attacks happened, have both announced they are forming exploratory committees for their presidential aspirations. In other words, they're running for President, but they have to get their ducks in a row.
We can expect more little weasel politicians to come out of the woodwork in the next few months. Hillary, John Edwards (who could actually win), John Kerry (stick a fork in this dumbass, he's done) will all run. I can see a McCain/Giuliani ticket against an Edwards/Obama ticket. It'll be ugly, and of course, a lot depends on Iraq and other variables.
With this in mind, I'm considering an exploratory committee for my own run for office. President Hairy Carrot. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Hell, I'd even make the legendary Baron Spencer Von Dahmer my running mate. Of course, we'll have to see if he's available.
Over the next few blogs, I'll give you some of my positions, which are universal in nature.
For instance, we need to guarantee our personal freedoms. Like legalizing prostitution. Seriously, what is the difference between a whore and some skank you pick up in a bar, take home, bone, and leave $50 on the dresser to help her with her power bill? None. Does that make the bar skank a whore? You figure it out. And of course, you wouldn't kiss either one of them on the mouth.
Abortion? Raise the legal abortable age of a fetus to 18 years. I think we can all live with that, unless you're 15 years old and can't behave your sorry ass.
Estate taxes need to be done away with. If I bust my ass and horde half of the county, I should be able to give it to my offspring without them having to be shaken down by the IRS. Pricks.
Iran and North Korea need to be nipped in the ass, from now. What the fuck are we waiting for? Everybody knows that the North Koreans would sell a bomb to anyone to put some food on the table. The Chinese want to handle this, but screw that shit. And the Iranians are a boil on the ass of this planet. I say we give Israel the green light and our blessings to bomb both of these upstart nuke countries "Dresden style". Then, during an elaborate ceremony at the U.N., we present Israel with a check for $50. You know, to help with the power bill.

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