Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas Is A Time For Giving...

Ah, it's that time of year. Carols, Christmas trees, crowded fucking stores filled with assholes. Everybody wants something, either a toy or a donation for some poor family. Why can't we do this shit in June when it's warm? At least I wouldn't have to be shopping with every other sick dick in the mall, with their runny noses dripping snot. Tis the season, though.
And gifts. Where do I start? There are those people who really don't need anything, so you get them a gift card. There's a scam. Did you know that somewhere around 80% of gift cards get redeemed? True shit. That means about 20% pure profit for a company that sells gift cards. Money for nothing. If you have a business and have the ability to sell gift cards, you're a damn idiot if you don't do it.
There are people that don't understand what the meaning of the word "gift" is either. When I give someone a gift, it doesn't mean I'm obligated to receive one in return. It means I didn't have to give you a damn thing in the first place. If you don't like the gift, shut the fuck up and smile and say thank you. When I leave, you can give it away or throw it in the trash. I don't give a shit.
You wouldn't believe how many people I give something to and they bitch about it. "This isn't a good color for me" or "Not another gift card." What the hell is the matte with you people? I really don't think that the Magi had a Target gift receipt for all that myrhh. (What stoner gives a baby incense?)
So, don't be a dick during this Christmas season. Order all of your gifts off the web, avoid the mall, and drink heavily. That's what Christmas is all about.

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