Friday, December 01, 2006

Doing It Like The Monks Do

First of all, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I took the time to spend with family and couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough.

A few weeks back, I was watching a show on the TLC network called "The Monastery". This reality show had a basic premise: Take five guys with problems (war wounds, drugs, alcoholism, etc.) and put them alone in a monastery with monks for a month. Nobody gets voted off or anything. Instead just watching them cope with being around a bunch of celibate men and do as they do is the entertainment.
To be honest, I didn't pay all that much attention to it, but there was one thing that stood out. The monks were silent for a few hours in the morning, and the abbott mentioned that the "civilians" could learn a thing or two from this practice. So I decided to give it a try.
In the car, riding for an hour at a time, I turned off the radio, quit screaming at my fellow drivers, and listened to my thoughts. At first, it sucked. I didn't realize how much shit was swirling around in my brain. After a while, everything slowed down long enough for me to at least get a handle on the situation.
Here's a sample of the ramblings in my head.

Wal-Mart really does suck.
I'm worried that I like porn too much.
Pink Floyd is a lot harder to listen to in the car, because you have to be sober to drive.
Christmas should be held every five years.
Al Sharpton can kiss my honky ass.
Letterman has the "Top Ten" and "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches". Why not nightly "Awkward Apologies"?
Porn's okay in moderation.
This pope isn't as cool as the last pope.
Capital gains taxes suck.
Chuck Amato can't be too surprised he lost his job.
Bush needs to flatten Bagdad.
That "Borat" guy is funny as shit.
There aren't any fugly chicks in country music anymore.
Fuck it, I love porn!

As you can see, there's a lot of stuff going on in my brain. And this list was from the first 20 seconds or so. Eventually, I zoned out, nearly hit a tree and got back on the road. I forgot those fucking monks don't drive.

1 comment:

The Baron said...

Reading the first paragraph, I was starting to worry the Carrot was going all metaphysical on our collective asses, but you snapped back to form in the second. Whew. And you are right-PORN RULES!