It seems as though everyone's best friend, Saddam Hussein, is in for one hell of a weekend. His death sentence was upheld by an appellate court this week, and the Iraqis government, not known for many successful decisions of late, has sped up the process of execution.
Now I know what all of you people are saying. "Why do we have people on death row for years and years and those crazy Iraqis can't take care of business in less than a month?" I'm not really sure why this is, except that this country is run by a bunch of pussies who think a murderer has more rights than his victim. And it's Christmas, the time of year when executions should be stepped up.
CNN, home to some pretty hot anchor bitches, is reporting that Saddam may be swinging like my johnson on a hot, summer day before Gerald Ford gets cold. My gut tells me that Saddam has asked for this whole mess to be finished soon, because he can't stand turning on the television in his cell and watching Rosie O'Donnell picking fights for attention.
On a related note, most people don't realize that Saddam is a huge fan of James Brown, who died Christmas morning. Crushed and filled with despair, the deposed dictator reportedly cried like a little girl a the news of his idol's passing.
In conclusion, they really do die in three's - Saddam Hussein, James Brown and Rosie O'Donnell's career.