Monday, March 05, 2007

Ann Coulter

This past weekend, a bunch of ultra-conservatives had their annual love fest, complete with K-Y that heats up when you blow on it. The conference should have been a showcase for all of the Republican presidential candidates, with soundbites and witty remarks about the Democrats included. Instead, an anorexic, unstable blond stole the show with her "off the cuff" statements.
Ann Coulter could be hot, if it weren't for that faraway look in her eyes that makes Manson look like an amateur. One look at the crazy bitch makes any attempt at an erection run for cover. Think Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" and Lorena Bobbitt, rolled into one skinny psycho woman that would gladly kill any man who couldn't satisfy her, or even worse, threatened to leave her. No wonder she's single.
Given the setting, you'd think that this fucked up whore would be amongst her own, but even these God-loving, family-valued neo-cons were a little rattled when she called John Edwards a "faggot" on C-SPAN.
This isn't the first time this certifiable nutjob has put her foot in her mouth. Her books, which other dipshits love to buy, are filled with such shit. But maybe, just maybe, the bitch did herself in this time. Sure, Rush and his rump rangers will defend her. Hell, I've got ten bucks that he spanks it to her picture. But, they're going to have to tap dance a lot more this time. I doubt conservatives will vote her off "Survivor: Dick Cheney's Nutsack", but they'll consider it for a couple of seconds.
I can only envision John Edwards winning his party's nomination and during his acceptance speech, throw out a little riff like this:
"I was asked to speak about Ann Coulter, but they told me if I called her a filthy cunt with a stinky hole, I'd have to go to rehab. Either way, sniff my finger."
Now that would be great television. You see, women can try to be funny. Some are. For instance, Celia Rivenbark, who's link is on this page, is a funny woman. She actually cracks me up. Ann Coulter isn't funny. She's a scary twat being egged on by other scary twats dressed as pasty white men.
So, Ann, stick a cord of firewood up your ass and get over yourself. One of these days, some dumb fuck is going to settle down with you, and when it's all said and done, he's going to beat the living shit out of you. And the best part is that no one will give a crap because you probably asked for it.

No comments: