Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Doing The Hokey Pokey

I often hear parents say that they'd like their little boy or girl to excel in whatever sport with the end goal being an athletic scholarship to college. Sounds like a great plan. From now on, though, when that coach comes to your house and recruit your kid, ask yourself one question: Is this person trying to help or just pick up my kid like they're in a singles' bar?
What has this got to do with anything? Well, it seems that the ladies' basketball coach at LSU quit her job last week because of an "inappropriate" relationship between her and one of her players. Pokey (yes, that's her name) Chapman got busted when one of her assistant coaches said something to one of the school's administrators. It probably sounded like, "Yo, Dean, I think Pokey's been eating the kooch of one of our players." Hmmm.
Of course, someone should've known something was smelly fishy when she ran her signature "tuna taco weave" on offense. And when she asked her team to give her a "box and one", she wasn't even on the court. There was one report of a player scoring 23 points and Pokey telling the player "You da man, you da man. After the game, my apartment, you da man!" Okay, so I made that one up.
Look, I'm fairly certain that this half-court carpet muncher meant well, but the ramifications are huge. For instance, I'm sure there is already a porn flick version of this in the works. How about "The Pink Shadow"?

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