I'm calling out to all of the Hairy Carrot universe for help. Our little Willie B. Hardigan has gone missing and we miss him something awful. We miss his sarcasm, reviews of TV shows, and especially the way he farts when he laughs.
I've checked every milk carton in the store, but no pictures of Willie B. anywhere. Don't take this as a "dis" Willie. We just figured you'd surface by now.
So please, Willie, if you can read this, get in touch with us. Write a blog even. You know what to do, so do it. And we won't ask where you've been or why the police keeping wanting to question you about an incident with an underaged girl. By the way, is that THE Chris Hansen, from NBC News that's always asking about you? If so, could you get us his autograph?