Friday, June 08, 2007

Bulgarian Love Connection

Q. Why do husbands die before their wives?
A. They want to.

Last month, 19 people were arraigned with conspiracy to defraud the United States government. What were they doing? They were arranging marriages between Bulgarians and a bunch of rednecks from South Carolina and Georgia. A total of 28 people have been charged in the scheme, which authorities say go back as much as ten years.

It seems that the couples weren't living together as they had stated on their paperwork. Hell, if that is the basis for making a marriage real, then hardly anyone is "married". And if they were shacking up, doesn't that make them common law spouses in SC? Who knows?

There is one thing I do know and that is that no one would have known the difference. There are around 12million Mexicans running around and the President wants to give them what amounts to amnesty. However, we're ready to prosecute a handful of Bulgarians that actually went to the lengths of getting married to Billy Bob and Jimmy Sue. Shit, we should be grateful that Billy Bob and Jimmy Sue aren't getting married to each other. They're probably related anyhow. To paraphrase a geneticist, "there's no need for DNA testing around here".

Marriage to anyone can be worse (hypothetically) that any prison sentence or deportation, yet even gays want to be married. All of this leads me to several conclusions:
1) Immigration officials would rather go after the little fish
2) Whoever arranged these marriages is the genius, as long as he or she made a buck off of it.
3) Bulgarians should be a lot smarter than marrying anyone from Dillon, SC

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