Thursday, August 02, 2007

Kiteboarding Idiots

Ever go to the beach and want to relax in about three feet of water with a beer in your hand? Sure, why not. Ever wonder if you're about to get decapitated by some dick who's kiteboarding? Hmmmm....

A few weeks back, I'm chillin' like Bob Dylan with my homies (and some little homies) and we see this thing coming down the beach from about a mile away. No shit, it was that big. If you haven't seen one, it looks like a very large, yet festively colored, maxi pad. From the shore I'm sure it's very nice to see, with someone below it, strapped in and bouncing in the waves and going pretty fast. I'd estimate you could probably go in excess of 25 mph.

So here I am with my posse and our little heads surfacing, when Karl Kiteboarder goes by past the breakers. That's cool, I'm thinking, because he's gone past us. But no, asshole comes back around for a second pass, and this time he misses us by about 3 feet! What a dick. Not sounding like a prick, but he really could have seriously injured someone.

I stood up and started waving my arms and middle fingers at him, but dude wasn't concerned enough to come back for his ass whooping. Unfortunately for him, though, the cop on the beach saw me raising hell. The 5-0 went after numbnuts about 100 yards down the shore and made him bring his rig in and pack it in. Possibly the only time I've had a "good" encounter with a cop.

My message for kiteboarders is this: Stay past the breakers, because if you come near me again and I have to put my beer down, you'll wish there's a cop around to help you out, because I'm going to fuck you up.

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