Friday, September 28, 2007

Why Does Iwon Suck So Hard?

A few years ago, I registered as a user of Iwon, poor excuse of a website. It's a Yahoo wannabe, but you can navigate around and earn "points". Allegedly, they give away $10 grand each day, but I don't know anyone that has ever one, so I can't prove they exist.

I do know one thing for sure. Their Spin & Win game is more predetermined than the Fox News Channel. On a recent visit to the site, I had somehow earned 20 spins. Concentrate for a minute as I give you some figures.

The wheel had 12 different spots for chances, 2 were "sorry", which meant I won zip, the other 10 consisted of mp3 players and cool shit, as well as "coins". I don't know what the hell a coin does, but I did land on coins 3 times. The other 17 fucking times, I got sorry. What are the odds?

Iwon used to use Google as their search engine, but changed to, which is just as shitty as Iwon has become. rarely gives you a decent search, because they blow, while Iwon sucks. Behold, the yin and yang bad sites.

Hell, I can't even get a decent search for free internet porn on Iwon anymore. First, it filters, even if you don't want it to. Then, the sites are teasers, like those sorority chicks who aren't even that great to begin with.

I guess I'll just stick to google and yahoo for my dirty fun. Iwon can change their name to "" and the shoe will fit.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Boycotting Mattel

It's been a while since I've been on here, spreading my wisdom. Unfortunately, things may be even more sporadic for the next few weeks as well. Work, work, work. Hey, Willie B., how about stepping up to the plate and helping out, bro?

A couple of weeks back, Mattel, that huge toy company that we all grew up with in our homes, had to recall a bunch of toys. Seems that Mattel has most of their toys made in China and the Chinese were still using lead paint in their manufacturing. Didn't we do away with lead-based paint like a hundred years ago or something? Are the Chinese that far behind us? Are they using asbestos as well?

After Mattel lost millions of bucks because of this affair, they had a sit-down with the Chinese, who promised to get rid of the paint. Great. But, the kicker came this week when Mattel showed what a bunch of pussies they are and actually apologized to the Chinese!!! According to the news article, Mattel sent one of their executives to personally kiss the ass of Li Changjang (seriously, that's the asshole's name), who is China's product safety chief. What the hell is going on here?

Mattel is worried that the Chinese dickheads, whose feelings have been hurt through all of this, will impose extra costs on them, like taxes and fees as repercussions. I've got my own suggestion.

Since Mattel doesn't manufacture their shit here anyway, I say we just don't buy their toys anymore. It's bad when they poison our children, but it's worse when we have to wuss out to the Chinese for it.

How about this? Mattel moves back to the States, or even Canada (practically our 51st state) and introduces a new doll that faces east and raises her middle finger. It's called the "Go Fuck Yourself Barbie". I'll buy three.