Saturday, October 27, 2007

Dumbledore Is A Wand Smoker

Recently, the world of children's make believe was turned on it's head with the news that Professor Dumbledore, the mentor to Harry Potter was an elderly homosexual man. Wow!
Who knew that the beloved wizard was a rump ranger? Obviously, it was actor Richard Harris. Okay, I thought he was portrayed by that other homo, Phil McCracken or whatever his name was. I admit, I was wrong.

After author J.K. Rowling recently outed Dumbledore and verified that he was indeed playing for the pink team, the world was stunned. Who else was gay? Ron Weasley? Malfoy? Alas!

Dumbledore has been the mentor of young, vibrant Harry for seven books and five movies. Each film has Dumbledore showing Harry how to grip his wand, stay with the other boys and keep his distance from Hermione, who has developed into a hot young woman with pert breasts and long silky legs. Even her appearance on Letterman a few months back gave me a junior chub.

So, now I can only sit back and await new adventures of young wizards and the spells put on them by their teachers. For instance, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Bone", "Harry Potter and the Gobbler of Semen", "Harry Potter and the Order of the Old Man's Penis", "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets That We Don't Tell Grownups About", and of course, "Harry Potter and the Prison of Ass-Can".

On a side note, Dumbledore was named "Man of the Year" by NAMBLA.