Saturday, November 03, 2007

To My Dear Television/Movie Producer Friends

Oh the suffering you must be going through. Not knowing if those horrible writers with their selfish intentions will be going on strike. And for what? Because they want more money for future internet distibutions of your products. That would be equal to the cow wanting more money when the farmer takes the milk to the market. The cow has been fed and given a warm place to sleep. But indeed, the cow is not as selfish as the writer.

They want more money from other outlets as well. But what do you want, Mr. Producer? In my world, you are the important one. It is their choice to go on strike, but what will become of you, and the others who depend on you? Will Letterman have to go back to delivering pizzas? Alas, there are worse fates, this is true. But let Dave have his dignity. Do these people not have a conscience? Where are their hearts? Perhaps these writers were born without hearts.

With this all in mind, I would like to assist you. I am offering my services as a writer at "non-union" rates. I can email my humorous jokes and comments via the same internet that those money-hungry writers are so fearful of. Ah, the irony of it all!

Do you need some topical humor? I have it. A screenplay for a low-budget film with great profitability? I am the man for the job. Who needs union writers? Let us join in inviting them in having sex with themselves. Then truly they will learn the lessons of greed and gluttony.

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