Sunday, November 02, 2008

Who Are You Going To Vote For?

Several things have popped up this election year. The economy reared its ugly head, as well as healthcare and terrorism. But the amount of snatch involved really makes a swing voter look a little deeper.

Hillary Clinton, with her cankles and smart pant suits, is out. Personally, I don't think Bill has hit that thing since his first election. I've seen sexier women ring up my produce at the grocery store and I'm grateful that I don't have to look at her on TV for the next four years. From a genetic perspective, Chelsea is rumored to have been involved in some interracial relationships while in college. At least somebody was tapping some Clinton ass.

The other woman directly involved in the election is Sarah Palin. I acknowledge that she's a hottie, albeit a rather dim bulb and most definitely a ballbuster. Far to the right (if she's against gay marriage and abortion, I bet she'd try to take porn off the web), she scares those of us who would probably have voted for McCain. The irony is that she has the look that every woman in porn can easily copy. For details on this, search "Who's Nailin' Palin?". And yes, I'd love to "drill in Alaska", if you know what I mean.

Jill Biden looks like every mom from when I was in Cub Scouts. Joe's second wife (the first died in a car wreck when she found out he was a politician), stays out of the limelight. In my opinion, I like most women that way.

Michelle Obama is having to charter new territory. As the potential "First Sistah" she's been ridiculed and raked over the coals. I know Barack is gettin' him some of dat. Her big ass makes up for those small titties (they look small to me). And her being a lawyer can be boner killer, but on the whole, I wish someone would find a Michelle sex tape for me filmed in Spankervision. Would I go down on her? The correct question is, "has Barack gone down on her?" I think he has, but being half black, he's got to deny it.

Which brings us to the milf from hell, Cindy McCain. Younger (18 years) than the senator, she's his second wife and, more famously, the heiress to a beer fortune. It just doesn't get any better than that. Of course, getting busted for stealing prescription drugs from her own charity and becoming addicted is the icing on the cake. Where is Rush Limbaugh on that one? And yes, a poll of the Hairy Carrot Institute acknowledges that 94% of registered male voters would on that thing like white on rice.

So, when voting this Tuesday, let your little head do the thinking for your big head. Vote for something we can all enjoy for the next four years.