Below is a public service message from BP:
Baby, you and me got a problem. Remember the other night when I was making sweet love to you and you said "Pull it out!" at the top of your lungs? Well, I did, but something happened that I never expected.
My rig toppled over just like we thought it would when I'm done, but damn if it wasn't the gusher of the century. Hell, I'm still getting that nut and there ain't enough "quicker picker up" towels around to clean up that mess. We're talking gooey mess everywhere, even on wildlife.
Just bear with me until August. That's all I ask from you.
Oh yeah, one more thing. I want my life back.
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